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<title>I miss him, but I know he wouldn’t want me to by sleepyboomwrites</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023630">I miss him, but I know he wouldn’t want me to</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyboomwrites/pseuds/sleepyboomwrites'>sleepyboomwrites</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>BnHA, My Hero Academia, mha</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>? - Freeform, Angst, Bakugo has a dog, Bakugo misses Kirishima, Character Death, Characters Are Pro Heroes (My Hero Academia), Happy Ending, Hurt Bakugo Katsuki, Katsuki Bakugo needs a hug, Katsuki and Eijiro are married, M/M, Pro Hero Bakugou Katsuki, Pro Hero Kirishima Eijiro, he is a good boy, im bad at tagging</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:28:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,128</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023630</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepyboomwrites/pseuds/sleepyboomwrites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Katsuki!” </p>
<p>the cry of his name reached his ears and when he turned- there, there was the scared face of his husband than the weight of being pushed and all of a sudden he was skidding across the ground as a cloud of dust washed over his vision and the shout of pain echoed through the screams of citizens.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijirou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>114</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I miss him, but I know he wouldn’t want me to</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was so sudden, a simple villain attack turned into mass destruction of half the city. So many people were killed, buildings fell, it was horrible.</p>
<p>Every pro hero was on the scene, but it just didn’t seem to be enough. More villains showed, more people suffered.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> Katuski had grabbed a couple of people from a building and was pushing them away, getting them to safety. Then all of a sudden,</p>
<p>“Katsuki!” </p>
<p>the cry of his name reached his ears and when he turned- there, there was the scared face of his husband than the weight of being pushed and all of a sudden he was skidding across the ground as a cloud of dust washed over his vision and the shout of pain echoed through the screams of citizens. </p>
<p>“Eijiro!” <br/>Amber eyes scanned the area as a cough broke through, the dust entering his lungs as he limped over to where his husband- no. no no-no-no. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Eijiro laid on the floor, the large piece of building crushing his waist and legs. But he wasn’t- why wasn’t he going unbreakable!?<br/>The hero ran over and dropped to his knees, eyes brimming with tears as his eyes scanned the area. “Eijiro!? Eijiro, Ei, baby- please, please answer me!” He begged, eyes scanning his lover’s face before he turned and began to try and lift the boulder. He couldn’t explode it off without the risk of hurting the other further, tears now running now his cheeks as he leaned back down.<br/>Fuck- fuck-fuck </p>
<p>“Kats…?” There was the shaky voice of the man, dull red eyes staring up at him. But what baffled Katsuki was that the injured hero held a smile, though it wasn’t forced or pitied. It was a genuine smile, the smile holding so many unsaid words that Eijiro knew he didn’t have enough time to say. But he hoped the smile was enough. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you…” </p>
<p>It was a soft whisper, so so quiet- but Katsuki heard it, he heard the small crack in his voice as those red eyes that stared up at him slowly went lifeless. </p>
<p>A scream, louder than the wails and yells of the men and women around echoed through the torn city. It held so much pain and fear, so much regret and- </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The blonde jolted awake with a gasp, amber eyes moving quickly around the room- his room. Fuck. Fuck. Okay. He was okay, everything was okay. He expected the warm arms of the redhead to wrap around him but there was nothing, the cold and empty room causing a shudder the rack through the pro hero.</p>
<p>Everything was not okay. </p>
<p>A sob escaped Katsuki as tears began to quickly flow down his reddened cheeks, the last word Eijiro said echoed in his mind- the way it shook, his teary eyes, scared expression. But he still held that same softness and concern for the blonde. Even though he was slowly dying, unable to move with the large weight of his lower body. </p>
<p>Another loud shuddering sob clawed its way through the crying man's throat, his chest heaved as he wiped angrily at his face. The tears wetting the back of his hands before more fat tears replaced them. His palms pressed into his eyes as he tried to quite himself- then he felt it. The soft nudge of a fuzzy head, pushing against his arm. He pulled one hand away from his eyes, still blurry as he looked down at the Doberman that had climbed onto his bed once he heard him wake. Katsuki bit his bottom lip, more and more tears rolling down his cheeks as he moved to gently brush the top of the dog’s head. </p>
<p>“Hey Zeus...” he murmured, voice trembling as he held back another sob. Moving to wrap his arms around the dog, looking for any sort of comfort. He was shaking, sobbing. God, he was pathetic. Looking for comfort in a fucking animal, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted, no /needed/ the warm, soft embrace of something. </p>
<p>He was not okay. </p>
<p>He missed Eijiro, he missed him so much. <br/>He missed his calming words, soft touches, warm embrace wrapped around him as he drifted to sleep. As well as the kisses prepping his face in the morning, red hair tickling his face, equally red eyes staring oh so softly at him. Letting him now that it was okay, he was okay, he was able to feel safe- feel loved. </p>
<p>They dated for four years, Eijiro asking the explosive blonde out near the end of their first year, and then they were married for two. Having so much more planned for later on in their life, already adopting Zeus whenever they graduated and moved in together. They planned on adopting another dog then- maybe even having children. <br/>Until that fateful day, leaving the blonde hurt, broken, alone and scared. </p>
<p>If only Katsuki paid more attention… Eijiro would still be alive. He wouldn’t be having these nightmares, he wouldn’t have to be finding comfort in their pet. He wouldn’t be left broken.<br/>He would have Eijiro. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it wasn’t his fault and he shouldn’t blame himself, Eijiro wouldn’t. Eijiro would point out every good thing he had accomplished because Katsuki tried and that’s all that mattered. He saved many people but lost someone so meaningful, special, important to him. </p>
<p>Katsuki missed Eijiro, he missed him and would do anything in his power to turn time back. He would be able to save his lover, he would be able to come home and fall asleep with the redhead in his arms. <br/>But Katsuki also knew Eijiro wouldn’t want him to kiss or mourn him, he would want the blonde to be strong and move on. Promise to continue being a hero and save many more people, let them have a chance to continue their life. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Katsuki now laid on his back in bed, Zeus curled up next to him as he gently scratched his side. His cheeks were tear stained, eyes focused upon the ceiling as his chest slowly rose and fell. <br/>He was thinking, thinking about all the memories him and Eijiro shared. How dumb they were in high school, and just how much Katsuki had fallen for that man. </p>
<p>“I love you, Eijiro…” <br/>Katsuki whispered, it was oh so quiet. Even though he knew Eijiro wasn’t there, he wouldn't be able to hear him mutter those three words. He just hoped hs knew how much his dumb smile helped him, his kind words pushed him, his warm embrace comforted him, his soft gaze that held so much love and adoration made his heart swell. <br/>He hoped Eijiro knew how much he meant to Katsuki, and still does.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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